gal on the run

Fuel

During today’s run I learned a hard lesson about proper fueling.  I know, it’s so important to fuel well, but sometimes it’s complicated/inconvenient.  I have been playing volleyball during lunch at work, and it is so much fun, but that means I don’t really have time to actually eat food during lunch.  I ate some leftover noodles right after but it wasn’t much and then I got busy with work so I didn’t have time to eat much more.  Then 5 PM rolled around and by that time it was too late to eat something substantial because I wanted to go for a run.  I was already hungry again at that point but I really wanted to squeeze in a run.

When I went out it felt nice and breezy - the weather was perfect.  But I felt so weak and hungry.  Not having the right energy makes such a huge difference - it’s like not having any gas in the tank.  I should have felt good - I have been working out, my legs should be feeling strong, my lungs should have felt fine - but everything felt like a struggle simply because I was hungry.  I kept having to fight myself to keep going - I would stop at parts and think about turning back.  I finally made it to the halfway point at about 1.3 miles and then turned around.  Going back was faster/easier because it was downhill.  But the whole thing just did not go as well as I wanted, all because I didn’t fuel well.  

I should keep some energy bars in my bag for times like that when I don’t have time to eat well.  

Going for my last run tomorrow and then will take the rest of the week off to recover!  Hope tomorrow’s run goes better. 

back! (bay)

So I’m baa-ack!  I know, you’re thrilled to no end, right?  Did you miss me?  Probably not bc the only person that reads this is probably my sister Mariel and I see her all the time.  Hi Mariel!

Anyway, I wanted to write about my training a little bit - training for the SF Half now.  It’s in two weeks!  So most of my training is behind me.  Just wanted to write a little bit about how it’s going. 

My first (and only) long run was on Saturday.  It was purrrfect weather for a long run.  I went out a bit late, around 8:30, but luckily it was overcast.  I was mentally preparing for this run all week.  I made myself start pretty slow, around 9:40 pace or so.  I just let myself enjoy it - enjoy how it felt to be running and I kept telling myself that I felt good.  I started to worry a little about the weather and about how it would feel in an hour or two and I worried that it would get hot.  And then I made myself stop worrying and just enjoy how it felt in the moment - the weather felt perfect in the moment.  Worrying about it getting hot wouldn’t stop the weather from getting hot - it would just take away the moments of enjoying the weather at the time.  So after I got over that I just kept thinking positively and thanking God about giving me the this body to run in.  I ran around back bay and it was so pretty. 

music vs. no music 

Before I used to wear headphones on almost every run.  It was nice to be able to have something else to focus on - it distracted me from the pain of running.  But now, I find myself running with out my headphones.  I actually brought them on my run because I thought 12 miles would be too long without music but I didn’t need to wear them.  I like running without headphones because I like embracing and absorbing what’s around me and being in the moment - listening to birds, listening to my breathing, thinking about how I’m feeling, enjoying each step, letting my mind wander.  I decided that I won’t bring headphones when I do that half - there will be so much other stuff going on - other runners, the pretty views, bands - I don’t want to miss any of it!  I want to enjoy the race fully.

Gummies!

I took powerbar gummies on my half.  I stuck them in the pocket of my new lulu shorts.  It worked out well.  They were a nice energy boost and they taste so much better than gels.  I think I will bring those for the half.  

Anyway, I finished up the run - toward the end it was getting hot and so I just really wanted to finish so I picked up the pace a bit.  The heat really makes a difference.  So glad the SF half is starting at 5:30 and it’s in the bay so heat definitely won’t be a problem. 

Recovery 

I felt fine the next day - not sore at all.  Decided to go on a short, quick 4 miler with a hill.  Felt awesome!  I really try to push for speed on the short runs.  Felt great to push my lungs and legs.  Average pace of about 8:42.  

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

I’m training for the Long Beach marathon. It’s my first one. I know, or at least from what I’ve seen, that tumblr is generally used by really creative ppl, like my sister, and that it’s for posting awesome photography and cool links and whatnot. I tried to do that for a little bit but then FAILed. So, instead, I’m resurrecting my tumblr by using it to capture my training adventures to the Long Beach marathon (hopefully I’m still alive by then!) I won’t get offended if you unfollow me - mostly this is just so that I can record my progress and see how I’m doing. I started to write it down in a journal but found that my handwriting resembles that of a 7-year-old now … when did that happen? Gonna back track a tiny bit since I wanna capture some of last week.

Week 6, Friday.

Got new running shoes from Road Runner - weee! It’s pretty neat because they use all this technology to determine the best shoe for you. They had me step on this pad to see where I put the most pressure on my feet and what kind of arches I have (normal) and then they video taped my stride while I was running on a treadmill to see if I overpronated (or something). Basically I came home with Nike Zoom Vomeros - I know, I know, Aasics and New Balances and Brooks are the “best” running shoes and going in, I think I was set on any of those and not Nike. But when I tried on all the different shoes, the Nikes ones really felt the best for my feet. They immediately felt super comfortable and soft. I got insoles by Superfeet to prevent my arches from dropping further. So I feel like I have shoes that are specially designed for me. As a bonus, they have the nike+ thing, which I use, so I didn’t have to buy a little pocket for the chip or do the ghetto velcro thing (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Also a bonus, they’re silver and PINK! (not that that matters … okay, it matters a little bit. okay, a lot!)

Week 6, Saturday. 9:30 am, 4.51 miles

Route: my apartment to Fairview Park and back

Took my new shoesies out for a spin. I’m following trying to follow Hal Higdon’s marathon training guide for novices. I like it, but I’m super behind on the long runs on the weekends. For example, last weekend I was supposed to do 10(!) miles on Saturday, and this coming Saturday I’m supposed to do 12. eeks. I’m going to vegas this weekend soooo … I highly doubt I’ll be able to squeeze in 12 miles between vegas debauchery. I’ll try to make it up this week by putting in more miles.

But I digress - so on Saturday I woke up kinda late and started running around 9:30 .. maybe 10. Bad idea. It got so hot.  I ran way slower than usual. Note to self: Must start running by 8AM at the latest on the weekends.

Also, my feet started to hurt toward the end. I felt like my legs and my lungs could run more but my feet didn’t. I’m not sure if it’s the shoes or if it’s just the distance that my feet need to get used to. I’ll just give it a little more time.

Week 7, Monday. 6:50 PM, 5.88 miles

Route: Back Bay - from Santiago to Bay View Park and back

This afternoon’s run felt soooo delicious. I was dreading running a little bit because my run on Saturday was not fun, but I’m so glad I went out today. Since I ran at dusk, it was much cooler and I found that that affects my pace a LOT. I was able to push harder and faster and at the end, I even felt like I could run a little more. So, me and running are back together again. We had a little rocky patch but we got through it and now we’re good.

Tigers

What are we now but voices

who promise each other a life

neither one can deliver

not for lack of wanting

but wanting won’t make it so.

We cling to a vine

at the cliff’s edge.

There are tigers above

and below. Let us love

one another and let go.

from Wideawake Field, by Eliza Griswold,

leather jacket

For awhile now, I’d been wanting a leather jacket.  So when I went to H&M, to my delight, I saw it.  On the hanger, it was seemingly perfect - leather, the perfect caramel brown, cropped, little pockets on the side.  It looked like exactly what I   wanted.

So I tried it on.  It looked …just okay.  A little snug.  The color was good, but I wasn’t sure if it went with the rest of my wardrobe.  But it met so many of my specifications - leather, brown, cropped, cute … so I bought it.

When I took it home, I tried it on again and I found that it didn’t fit quite right.   On someone else, it probably would look fantastic.  But not for me.  And it didn’t go with the rest of my wardrobe. I tried to force something that wasn’t quite there, because I wanted a leather jacket - I wanted to believe that it would work.

I took it back for a refund the next day.  I was just planning to return it.  But on my way in i saw a different leather jacket.  It wasn’t quite what I thought I wanted - it was a weird color in between black and brown and had a hood.  Also, it was a few sizes bigger than I usually wore.  But I tried it on anyway, just out of curiousity.

And … it looked fantastic. I wasn’t looking for it, and it didn’t quite meet what I thought I wanted, but it was really flattering. And I hate to toot my own horn, but I looked good in it. So I got bought it.

And now, two weeks later … my leather jacket and I couldn’t be happier.  =)

excellent day

today, i had an excellent day.  it was so good, i wanted to write about it so i wouldn’t forget.

-started with coffee with laura

-class 

-took a break - hung out w. bianca and classmates outside in the sun - it was a beautiful day! 

-went back to class

-had delicious indian food on second street with laura, bianca and sharon and good conversation

-took a walk down the street to buy delicious cupcakes - and the dog owners bought “pupcakes”

-went home and hung out in my room with the windows open and took a nap

-got up and went running at dusk.  it felt so fantastic to get back into running!  the weather was nice and my body was happy.  i went running at back bay and went to the top of this mountain where i got to see the sunset and flowers all around and birds chirping. it was a breathtaking moment.  

-played geo challenge. broke a personal record! 

-went home and hung out. ate my cupcake with my family.

he’s just not that into me

i’ve been all about this book, this idea, ever since i read it. and, generally, it’s worked out for me. i know what it feels like when someone’s into me. he’d call when he said he was going to. he would follow through. he would make it clear that he was into me. i wouldn’t have to make excuses to myself for him or find ways to convince myself that he really does like me, he’s just busy. he really does like me, he’s just still getting over his ex.

because generally, guys are simple. if they’re into you, they’ll make it known. they’ll take action to try to make something happen. they won’t let other s get in the way.

so - i need to follow through on this idea. i’ve been talking to this guy. ridiculously cute. no, hot. and funny. and kind. he watches the office and gets the references. he takes care of his roomie’s dog. he pays for stuff. he tells good stories. he makes me laugh. he even said “i like u.” well - he said “i like u … but i don’t want to get into anything serious right now. i’m not really looking for a gf gf. i’m not ready for a relationship right now, nor do i want one. there’s so much i wanna do still. i feel like i need to just be free for awhile.” — that probably means he’s just not that into me.

i asked him “do you think it wouldn’t be right between us?” and he said the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” thing. but, whatever. if he says he doesn’t want a relationship, that means he doesn’t want a relationship with me. maybe he does like me a little bit, but not enough. not in the way that i want someone to be into me. not in the way that i am into him. and … that’s not enough for me.

transitions

In one of my classes, we’re learning about transitions and the idea that for transitions to occur, there needs to be an ending, a middle period of lostness, and then a beginning.

I’ve experienced an ending.  And while it might be scary, I think I need a period of lostness, a middle where I’m figuring out where I am and who I am and who I want to be.  I need to ruminate on these things before a beginning can occur.

a hard time with transitions
Transitions are usually uncomfortable at best and really difficult and painful at worst.  Why?  Change is supposed to be a good, thing, right?

I think transitions and change are difficult partially because we don’t know what’s going to happen.  We hope that change is for the best, and that it is a good thing, but we don’t know that for sure.  In the moment, it just feels scary and uncomfortable and new.  I guess we just have to embrace change and hope that things happen for the best .. and that it’s better than the alternative, which is staying in something that isn’t good for us.  I’d rather take a chance at finding something that feels right rather than staying in something that isn’t, just because I’m afraid of change.

keeping up
Also, in our class we discussed the anxiety that we sometimes place on ourselves about where we currently are and where we are “supposed” to be at certain ages in life.  In high school, I thought the ideal age to get married was 24-26 and then have babies a little bit after that.  And now, here I am, on the brink of 26, and I’m definitely not going to be married by that time.  Or even close.  Sometimes I think, oh no, I’m falling behind.  But … behind what?  Why is 24-26 the ideal age?  Says who?

I’m slowly accepting that things change - what I once thought was an ideal age to get married has shifted a bit, and that’s okay.  I’ll be ready when I’m ready.  Right now I’m having fun just learning who I am and what I want.