finding the one
For so long, I grappled with finding and being with “the one.” How do you know when you’ve found “the one,” the person with whom you’re supposed to share the rest of your life? How do you know there isn’t someone out there that’s better for you?
I was recently with a potential “one.” I fell crazy in love with a wonderful person who made me laugh and put lotion on my hands when he knew they were dry. We adored each other.
But in the back of my mind, I always wondered, “is this ‘the one?’” Like, is this as good as it gets? It was good, fantastic, even. But we definitely had our problems and we fought. And we were different in so many ways - education, politics, religion, finances, methods of raising children, interests, hobbies …
while I was with him, i actually met someone else - someone who showed me that things could be different. i know it’s terrible that i got to know someone else while I was with my boyfriend. i hope you don’t hate me and discontinue reading my blog. i’m a good person deep down, i promise … anyway, this new person showed me that perhaps my then-boyfriend was not “the one” and that things could be different - easier, with someone where we had more things in common. after much angst and countless tears, i broke up with my boyfriend. i felt sick inside, but i knew it was the right thing to do - he deserved to be with someone better, someone that reciprocated his unconditional love. i know in my heart that wasn’t me. i also know in my heart he will be with someone fantastic and someone that’ll love him ridiculously and deeply, because he deserves that.
ironically, laughably, karmatically it didn’t work out with the new guy. of course it didn’t. we were destined not to be. this whole situation has been unbelievably painful, in so many ways, for so many people. and i did it. and i’m heart-wrenchingly sorry for the mess i’ve made. but i know it all happened for a reason.
one thing that I learned through all of this is that there’s no “one.” that can sound a little sad or cynical. But it’s actually quite refreshing. there are many people with whom we can be happy and compatible. it’s a CHOICE - you choose to make someone your person, the love of your life. and then all of a sudden, you’ve found “the one.”
