transitions
In one of my classes, we’re learning about transitions and the idea that for transitions to occur, there needs to be an ending, a middle period of lostness, and then a beginning.
I’ve experienced an ending. And while it might be scary, I think I need a period of lostness, a middle where I’m figuring out where I am and who I am and who I want to be. I need to ruminate on these things before a beginning can occur.
a hard time with transitions
Transitions are usually uncomfortable at best and really difficult and painful at worst. Why? Change is supposed to be a good, thing, right?
I think transitions and change are difficult partially because we don’t know what’s going to happen. We hope that change is for the best, and that it is a good thing, but we don’t know that for sure. In the moment, it just feels scary and uncomfortable and new. I guess we just have to embrace change and hope that things happen for the best .. and that it’s better than the alternative, which is staying in something that isn’t good for us. I’d rather take a chance at finding something that feels right rather than staying in something that isn’t, just because I’m afraid of change.
keeping up
Also, in our class we discussed the anxiety that we sometimes place on ourselves about where we currently are and where we are “supposed” to be at certain ages in life. In high school, I thought the ideal age to get married was 24-26 and then have babies a little bit after that. And now, here I am, on the brink of 26, and I’m definitely not going to be married by that time. Or even close. Sometimes I think, oh no, I’m falling behind. But … behind what? Why is 24-26 the ideal age? Says who?
I’m slowly accepting that things change - what I once thought was an ideal age to get married has shifted a bit, and that’s okay. I’ll be ready when I’m ready. Right now I’m having fun just learning who I am and what I want.
